Grand parents

The reason I moved back to Ohio is My Grandfather was dying due to diabetes complications. The strongest man I knew was now unable to hold himself upright up on the front room couch. My Grandmother was more patient with him than the next three health care providers put together. A typical afternoon conversation would go something like this.

Gpa: Marian!

Gma: Yes Bob?

Gpa: Will you come in here and sit with me a minute!?

Gma: Can I finish the dishes first?

Gpa: JUST COME IN HERE!

Gma: Alright, alright

5 minutes pass as Gpa whistles to favorite song on the oldies radio station. Then the song ends.

Gpa: Are you gonna get the dishes done tonight or not!

Gma: Yes Bob.

Gma gets up and finishes dishes.


This was almost every evening for his last two years. I asked my Grandma why she did what she did. She told me "It's not worth getting into a fight over something silly so I just do whatever he asks so that we keep the peace."

My Grandpa passed in '93. It has been three years since my Grandma passed in '06. I still remember her smile and infectious laughter when someone told a funny story while sitting around the kitchen table. Then I went through all the old photographs. Only one, that was professionally taken, was she smiling in. The more I looked to find a picture of her happy the more I saw the reality of a woman who did nothing but sacrifice for her family. Relieved of her marital duties upon becoming a widow, she mourned. After the mourning came a regret that she was never truly happy, she never enjoyed things like sisters had. She simply kept the peace.

Many women have grown up seeing the same situation with their grandparents. With the career options women have, and control over how many children and when you want to have them, why would one choose such a submissive role and accept perpetual sacrifice just to keep the peace?